okay, HOLD THE FUCK UP. Do you see this shit? This is isn’t some lame-ass “choco brownie” snack cake. This is a goddamn COSMIC BROWNIE. Bitch, you eat this thing and the entire universe EXPLODES behinds your EYELIDS. This shit is so good, it’s named after the entire goddamn COSMOS. If you opened your lunch bag and saw this tucked in, bitch don’t deny the fact that you’d squeal like a little girl. Bring that shit to school, and everyone is your best friend.

(Even that creepy-ass kid who mixes Jello with his orange juice.)